How To Create the LOVE LIFE You Truly Desire
My insatiable desire to seek knowledge for the truth about life and love began in 2008. These questions I had lead me on a journey of self-discovery that opened my eyes to a whole new perspective on myself, men, relationships, love and life. After going through the highs and lows, and everywhere in between, I finally got to a place where I wanted to know how I could live a stress free life. I wanted to break the destructive behaviors/cycles that no longer served me especially when it came to relationships. With the help of empowerment books, seminars, webinars, love coaches, documentaries about universal energies of oneness, laws of attraction and countless hours of self-reflection in meditation, I finally started learning what it meant to love myself and others UNCONDITIONALLY.
In discovering this and my true purpose in life, I began to experience a new found freedom. I had a new appreciation for life and the world we live in. It all starts with learning to love yourself, as cliche as it sounds it’s true. Below are some of the realizations I crossed on my truth journey.
LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF
Most people only understand that on a surface level. I’m talking about loving yourself on a deeper, soulful level. Sadly, we are all a product of our pain and insecurities and as long as we allow those fearful emotions to consume us, and let them dictate our choices, we are not fully loving ourselves or others. When we continue to experience the same problems in relationships, or are stuck in a cycle of unhealthy behaviors there is something at a much deeper level that must be uncovered. You have to find the root that causes these destructive thinking patterns, then change your way of thinking.
RESPONDING VS. REACTING
Learning how to process emotions in a constructive manner vs. destructive can have a significant impact on the quality of your relationships. There is a big difference when you learn how to RESPOND VS. REACT in high stress situations.
Instead of complaining about your love life put that energy into learning how to do something entirely new and create the love life you’ve always desired. Most are fearful to tread these waters, but this is how you GROW!! Constructive thinking is a way of being mindful and getting to this place doesn’t just magically happen. It is a new way of thinking that has to be learned and practiced over time.
Achieving internal peace can be experienced if we can learn how to remain poised regardless of what life throws our way. Unfortunately we are not wired to be poised. We are quick to get upset when things don’t go our way. We instantly go into REACT MODE. We blame, criticize, judge, make negative assumptions and feel sorry for ourselves… ALL OF THIS STUFF creates a lot of internal disturbance. It interferes with your ability to see from a broader perspective which is what is necessary if you want to reach your full potential.
SHEDDING THE VICTIM MENTALITY
People are accustomed to being in a reactive mode. We tend to look externally at the person or situation that is “pushing our buttons”. When a negative emotion gets triggered it causes “the victim” chatter: “why me?”, “why is this happening?”, “why are they doing this to me?”, etc. Instead we need to learn how to get centered, look internally, and ask the RIGHT questions to find out why we have these buttons in the first place. This is the CREATOR mentality. Choosing not to fall prey to the victim mentality is part of the waking up process, and it is very liberating. There are tools you’ll need to help you achieve this mindset. Not only will these be helpful when you have conflict with your partner but co-workers, friends and family as well.
ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE
This is an important step in this journey. It’s a humbling experience, one everyone could benefit from. Fully understanding how and why the choices you make play a vital role in the creation of your life is powerful stuff. This is when you start to recognize you really are a co-creator in the story of your life. Your thoughts, beliefs, ideas and decisions create your reality. How healthy, loving and positive are they? Becoming aware of how much fear and negativity consumes you on a daily basis is an eye opener.
TAKING INVENTORY OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Start taking inventory of your thoughts, your intentions, the company you surround yourself with and your daily verbal and non-verbal interactions with people. Because the truth is they all play a part in creating your world. Your perception of the world (which YOU are creating every moment of everyday) becomes your truth. Let that soak in for minute. What kind of world have you created for yourself? Is it mostly peaceful and joyful or does life feel like a constant struggle? What are most of your relationships like…do they drain you and bring you down or lift and inspire you? Do you constantly judge and criticize yourself and others?
Ask yourself, “what areas in my life are creating the most stress?” This is where a mindfulness coach come in handy. I help you design a personal action plan to help you overcome the obstacles and challenges you are facing. I am sharing what I learned with others through my S.A.F.E. Self-Discovery steps. It’s difficult to go through this transformation alone, everyone needs help in life especially when you are making big changes.
Get the positive guidance and support you need to help you stay on track. Even though a support system is important, it’s ultimately up to you to MAKE THE CHOICE to want a better life for yourself. Learning how to “BE LOVE” is one of the greatest most significant gifts you can give yourself and to others. When you learn to come from a place of LOVE and COMPASSION you can live in a state of PEACE and HAPPINESS.
POSITIVITY FUELS YOU
Energetically speaking, negativity eats up way more energy. Negativity depletes you and positivity FUELS YOU! The less energy you have the more susceptible your immune system becomes. Science has proven that a positive attitude is directly connected to human happiness and health. So for you “glass half empty” “Debbie downer” readers, do your mind and body good and learn how to flip the script. When you begin to do this inner reflection and self-work you feel more emotionally balanced.
LEARNING TO LET GO
Other principles that aide in maintaining emotional stability is learning to be honest with yourself and others, letting go of expectations, not assuming, not taking things personal… these are all things we do on a daily basis and all of them create mental, emotional and physical disturbance. Holding on to hurt, anger, sadness, resentment and guilt doesn’t serve you either. Learning to let it go and detach from it is part of learning about love.
Living life in this manner makes it easier to focus on gratefulness. Gratitude alone can change your life. We should look at “unexpected challenges/tragedies” in life as opportunities to learn something deeper about ourselves. We tend to only be grateful when life is going well, but when you can find gratitude even in the dark moments of life something beautiful starts to emerge from within. This awakening and transformation has been challenging (change always is), but it has also been very rewarding. If this blog has spoken to you, then maybe it’s time for a change. Like Ghandi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” It’s time you create a happier, brighter more peaceful world for yourself.
Article by Janie Terrazas
Find out more about at www.JanieTerrazas.com