The Definition of Friendship: The Female vs. the Male Version!
To me, the definition of a great friend is somebody who’s going to call me out on my shit. So a man will call his friend out on his shit. But women… you support each other.
Here’s the male version of friendship.
When a man screws up — and he confesses to his friends that he screwed up — his friends will make him take accountability for his screw up.
They’re not going to back him up.
They’re not going to tell him that he did everything great. They’re not going to rally to his side.
When a man screws up or a man does something stupid or a man is caught in a lie or a man is caught in a story, another man will look at him and just go:
You’re an idiot.
The words sometimes will be harsh. The explanations will be even harsher but men support one another with the cold hard truth. We don’t rally behind the story. We don’t perpetuate the story, because if we’re telling the story to friends and that story is not a story that serves us — or that is a story that is harming to our health, wellness, and everything else — our friends will say something.
Women on the other hand… my god, you guys support one another.
A lot of the times men will sit around and they’ll be dealing with a woman, and if they’re in a relationship with an ex and they’ve been all the ex issues with kids…
If they sit around and tell each other the hard cold truth and have a raw conversation about what is going on, they sometimes find themselves up against a woman who’s a mess and they think to themselves, Wait a second, you guys are telling me the truth and if you guys are giving me this great advice, doesn’t she have friends that give her great advice? How is she bullshitting her friends?
And that’s always said, and it’s one of the greatest mysteries of the world.
Why do women back up their friends and not call them out?
Now, I don’t like making generalizations. Because I find that, generally, generalizations make me look like an idiot.
But I’ve been in countless situations where a man’s story is based on the truth.
A man takes responsibility for all of his screw ups.
A man’s friends will literally give him advice on how to be a better person and how not to screw up like this in the future.
And I get involved with women because I’ve coached both men and women, and couples as well.
And a woman will literally say, “what my friends say is this…”
“My friends do this…”
“And my friends agree with me.”
And the women is in, well, just blatant lie mode — and I’m not calling women liars at all — but she doesn’t see the screw-up and the cover-ups because her friends aren’t calling her out.
Now, I’m thinking to myself, how good of a friend did she have?
Because to me, the definition of a great friend is somebody who’s going to call me out on my shit.
Yet it seems like so many of these so-called women friends don’t call the women out on their shit. They tend to agree with their friends, even if they really disagree. They back up their friends. Their friends are like this partial jury.
It’s almost like a lawyer went to the side of town that had the exact same people and literally found this jury that’s completely biased, so when a woman tells her story all of her friends sit there and go, “Yeah, you’re right girl.” Even though the story is so concocted throughout and so wrong in every way, shape, and form.
It’s one of the mysteries that we have in life and relationships. It’s one of the biggest battles between men and women, because when men get into their authentic truth.
I’m not saying men are perfect. They’re not. They can be so stubborn and delusional. But their friends at least try to keep them grounded in their authentic truth.
They stay in it because of their friends.
Women, man you guys all just help each other and re-circulate the same story and find a way to agree with one another and support each other, when in reality the truth definition of friendship and support is to call each other out on each other’s bullshit.
So, if I’m wrong about this, let’s hear it from you.
I want to hear it. Go ahead. Let’s hear it. Tell me if I’m wrong.
Tell me I’m just not right.
Tell me I’m crazy.
Because isn’t that what starts this whole ridiculous way of men and women being so different?
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