How to Know if Casual Dating is Simply Not for You
The dating landscape has undergone a seismic shift in recent years. Back in the day, anyone serious about meeting someone special signed up to a professional introduction agency. They were shown photos or videos of carefully curated mates. The results largely depended on the quality of the agency’s database and were certainly not guaranteed.
There are still agencies offering that type of service, mostly to extremely wealthy individuals who are keen to meet someone of the same ilk, but the rest of us have moved on to dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble.
The Rise of Dating Apps
Dating apps are simple. You swipe from profile to profile in much the same way as you might browse Netflix. If a photo or profile catches your attention, you ‘like’ it. If the other person feels the same way, you have a match. There is no guarantee a successful match will end up in a date, but it’s the first step.
So, is casual dating for you? Let’s find out.
What is Casual Dating?
Casual dating is not limited to dating apps. It’s when a person wants to date but has no intention of getting involved in a serious relationship. They want to eat their cake, but they don’t want to buy all the ingredients.
Many young people believe that casual dating is superior since it can be hard to maintain a healthy, long-term relationship nowadays since we live in busy, career-oriented times. Plus, it is fair to say that this type of dating can be fun. You can meet up with lots of different people, without having to tie yourself down to just one person.
When Casual Dating is a Terrible Idea
Casual dating is not for everyone. Some people are simply not equipped to handle the emotional fallout.
If you are suffering from low self-esteem or you were badly hurt by a previous partner, it’s not advisable to hit Tinder or sign up for a non-exclusive relationship. You need a healthy dose of self-confidence for casual dating. Being ditched for a 22-year-old bombshell is a bitter pill to swallow.
Don’t try casual dating if you’re the jealous type. You probably wouldn’t be happy if your date casually mentioned he/she was sleeping with several other men/women.
Casual dating is stressful. It only works if you are 100% certain you can keep your emotions out of the loop. Don’t try casual dating if you get attached after five minutes or you are the jealous type.
You are desperate to settle down. Don’t pretend casual dating is for you if you dream of white picket fences and 2.4 kids.
Don’t try casual dating if you’re a hot mess. You need both feet firmly on the ground to cope with ghosting, zombieing, and casual rejection on an epic scale.
You are on the rebound – don’t use Tinder to make your ex-jealous. He probably won’t care anyway, and you could end up feeling ten times worse.
Dating casually won’t work if you are using it to distract yourself from personal problems. Focus on some self-help and forget about dating for a while.
Now, this one is a complicated one: You are in a serious relationship for some time now. You and your partner care for each other deeply but feel like you are kind of missing out. This crisis is something that often happens to couples after several years of dating. However, before you guys decide to turn ‘’our wedding will be mesmerizing’’ into ‘’we are now in one of those open, Millennial relationship things’’ think twice and be completely honest to both: yourself and each other. Before making any drastic decision, perhaps try to listen better, commit more, learn to compromise and try to improve your relationship first. The positive outcome might surprise you.
Signs Casual Dating Is for You
Casual dating suits some people. For various reasons, they aren’t ready to get involved on a serious level, but they still want to have fun on the dating scene. Read the following and see how many boxes you tick.
You’re not long out of a long-term relationship – if you recently split from a long-term partner, the last thing you need is to become involved with someone else. That’s OK. You can have fun, give your ego a boost, and live a little. When the dust settles and the ink on your Decree Absolute is dry, then you can think about dating a little more seriously.
You don’t have time to commit to a serious relationship – perhaps you travel a lot for work or you’re an international human rights lawyer with a crippling caseload. Either way, you don’t have time to devote to building a lasting relationship. Heck, you barely have time to sleep! Casual dating is perfect for you. You can hook-up with people in whatever time slots you have available, or any city you happen to end up in, but there is no expectation of anything more.
You are already attached – this last one is rather contentious, but we’re not going to slate everyone who decides to date outside of their main relationship. Not everyone wants to or is able to, leave their partner. For example, if your partner is seriously ill with no expectation of recovery, should you put your needs on hold forever? Only you can answer that question, but nobody would blame you if you went on the occasional date for a bit of light relief.
Have you tried casual dating? Let us know in the comments!