Why It’s Easy to Miss Your Life Purpose (And How to Know It)
The truth of life purpose is that your true, real purpose will probably seem so inconsequential or downright weird that you could miss it.
This happened to me for more than a decade, and on Sunday, a mega epiphany emerged in which I saw my soul naked, my true desires burning through the facade of practicality I once adopted but almost killed me.
Especially for people like us, the true creatives, the soulful, whimsical, eccentric souls who are here to remind the world of what’s possible, we tend not to have weighty purposes like saving the environment or curing a deadly disease.
I write, often self-indulgently. A client in one of my courses dreams of making beautiful PDFs about organizing and other crafty things. Another loves makeup and wants to improve the world by helping women feel beautiful about themselves. A third dreams of turning a plot of farmland into a gathering place for yoga and healing.
These things matter! They matter because they matter to you, and they matter to the people whose lives you’re here to impact.
The bottom line is this: Just like there are insects whose entire existence is solely for the purpose of pollinating just one flower, all of life — including humans — is so intelligently designed that we must each follow our unique purposes in order for the universe to unfold as it should.
It’s not your job to judge your desires. Your only job is to follow them.
If you don’t, you’ll end up depressed, stressed, anxious, and tired. If you do, you’ll feel excited, alive, full of hope and in total alignment with your soul. Life is never perfect, but it’s way effing better when you follow the calling of your soul.
But the road to your true purpose is not as much of a cake-walk as it may seem. Do what you feel called to — the most natural thing in the world, right? Turns out, there are so many layers to clear, self-imposed limitations to dissolve, and permissions to give yourself that it takes time to connect to the real thing.
Even in my writing, I’ve tried to cover my work up in big, important ideas like Emotional Healing and The Messages Of Emotions and Spiritual Teacher. It never felt right, and I thought it was because I was still growing into this role, but the truth is, I don’t want some big weighty role.
I don’t want a job that makes it difficult to evolve. I change, like every day, and need to shed roles as I please.
I love my freedom, and I love writing whatever my heart desires, pulling the life lessons out from whatever I’m going through and finding my own balance between sharing self-indulgent blog posts and making it somewhat helpful and inspiring.
But, the other night, I had that mind-blowing epiphany. More in a moment.
First, I want to share that I’ve been working with mentors a lot this year, and have invested scary sums of money in myself. I know for sure that it’s helped me earn a healthy full-time income from my blog in only the second year.
Some achieve more, faster sure, but I’m very proud of what I’ve done. For me, money is freedom, and even more than that, each dollar I earn reflects a life that I’ve been able to change and impact.
This, from a girl who used to run the other way from a $30 charge to register my domain. (Which so wasn’t about the $30, but about the commitment to my dreams.)
And then the $100 a month for a software I needed. And then $2,000 for my first course. Each investment freaked me out beyond belief, but the thing is, my business and life expanded to meet them.
I never looked back from a single one of these investments — it’s kind of shocking to see that now, actually, since the investments continued to grow, but each time, they paid off in more money or in the best kind of growth — the kind from within. Unquantifiable shifts like greater confidence and self-belief, more clarity and a deeper understanding of who I am, what I’m here to do and, most importantly, the self-permission to do it.
But each time, I freaked out. It’s never about the money, but wondering if I’m really serious about my dreams. It was a commitment to making it work, to expanding beyond it, to doing the work to make it work. To not give in to be lazy, but truly decide to create the things I say I want to.
Mid-year, there was one investment I really wanted to make, but the number blew my mind.
I didn’t do it. And that program’s price has since tripled, and I regret the decision to not say yes to continuing to expand. But everything is a learning opportunity.
Looking back, I can see that the beginning of the year, when I invested beyond my comfort level to receive incredible support, my income and impact grew dramatically. I expanded in ways I never dreamed possible.
Life began to operate by an entirely different set of rules. It was miraculous. It wasn’t that I was paying someone else for results. That’s not how it is at all.
It was that I was committing, showing up and surrounding myself with the support needed to expand my mind and increase my self-belief — the two most important ingredients for success. I surrounded myself with those whose energy uplifts me and makes me believe anything is possible. I spent probably an hour each day doing inner, personal development work to build confidence, self-belief and gain clarity on my purpose and true desires.
I mention this because all the results I’ve enjoyed, the life I now live — it’s in large part been with the help and support of my mentors. I wouldn’t be living my dreams like I am without them. Whenever I slack off on my personal development work, my results suffer. A lot.
They did mid-year. Things slowed down, so I doubled down on my inner work. Maybe it was all for good. It’s always perfect, because I had an incredible epiphany the other day:
When I was younger, I had a dream: travel the world, do crazy stuff and write about it. It didn’t seem like a life purpose, but it did seem fun.
I started to do that, moved to Hawaii to live in a tent and work on a farm after college, traveled by train from New Jersey to Portland and lived there for a few months.
But I never wrote the book. Drafts, so many drafts unfinished on my hard drive. No clue how to make my dreams come true. And I was so full of inner resistance that I couldn’t even sit down to write.
Than I decided I needed to be normal, use my degree and get a journalism job. Well, two years after that I got cancer, and I know it was because I wasn’t doing my soul work.
Ultimately, I’m so thankful for getting sick because it propelled me along a spiritual journey of healing and led me here.
I’ve been blogging for a few years now and received the inspired idea to create courses, which I adore, but this isn’t the whole picture. My soul says there’s more.
I’m not just a coach or a course creator like everyone else in the online world. I have a different purpose, a different joy to follow.
I thought my original dream was dead. Long gone. A dream of the younger me who was foolish and naive. How could she possibly make money traveling the world, doing crazy stuff and writing about it?
Who would pay her for being her? She’s got to teach something. Know stuff. Be an expert. It’s not enough to just share her heart.
Well during some super powerful journaling prompts from a course I recently joined, I released all of that, and now I know.
After 10 years, my dream is still alive. Of course it is, because it’s my heart, my soul.
To travel the world, do crazy things and write about it. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. And it’s time.
But now, it will mix with all my other work. I dream of learning about spirituality and personal development, influenced by all the world’s cultures.
I’m going to write about my adventures, become one of those worldly and fascinating people with so many stories to tell. Dripping in wisdom, told through story, always inspiring and ever authentic — I am the Queen of Authenticity after all!
I’m going to channel these experiences and life lessons into books (at least one of which will become a NY Times bestseller and inspire a Hollywood film), create amazing new course experiences and offer high-level coaching to people interested in total life transformation, to live their purpose and connect to their deeper truth so they can follow their joy and help others do the same.
This is my intention for the next year. To travel, have crazy cool spiritual experiences and share them with you. To go next level and inspire you to do the same.
To rekindle an old dream, let go of the pre-determined paths and find my own way in this world. To face my fear and step into the next version of me right now, because the only person stopping me from living my dreams is me.
And I’ve waited far too long, spent too many years looking to see where others were on their paths instead of connecting to and following my own. Spent way too long unconvinced of my own deservingness to be happy and have it all.
But it’s all good. Everything has meaning. Maybe it was supposed to happen this way.
Either way, I’d love for you to know that your purpose, your heart, your soul, it might not appear obviously meaningful. You might not know how you can transform it into a livelihood.
You might not now how or why, but the answers are inside of you. This is what I’m here to help you find, through my blog, courses and high-level mentoring.
If the desire is there, then the path is in your soul, in your heart and intuition. Step by step, faith by faith, inspired action by inspired action, you’ll create the life of your dreams.
It will require you to invest time, money and energy. Heck, I’m nervous about paying for my trip. Not because of the money, but because of what it means.
But what’s the alternative? You can’t turn away once you know because the knowing you are meant for more will never disappear. It will eat you alive until you say yes.
So say yes. Face the fear. And do everything you can to learn how to believe.
I hope this resonated with you.