6 Things Aging Parents Want From Their Adult Children
Growing old isn’t easy for anyone; those who are getting old and those who are taking care of them, while still not getting any younger. Everyone who has ever experienced their parents getting old and ill knows how much difficult it can get. On the other hand, most of us are facing it in the future, and there are some things that you should know and accept before this experience comes along in your life. Here are some tips on how to handle these situations in the best manner for both sides. 6 Things Aging Parents Want From Their Adult Children
Patience 6 Things Aging Parents Want From Their Adult Children
First of all, you will need tons of patience. This may sound like an easy job if you consider yourself to be a patient person in general. But even the most patient people are surprised by how much they need to give in order to resemble the piece. The world was a much different place when your parents were young, and the same way as you, they fought with time and tried their best to keep track. At some point, they can’t keep it anymore. So if they call you to turn their air condition on, or to handle their phone, be patient. Yes, you have shown the same thing like twenty times, but at some point, they just lose interest to keep the track. This is why they need you to be patient and help them every time they got stuck in the new age.
Acceptance 6 Things Aging Parents Want From Their Adult Children
Acceptance is a great part of any hard situation. Your parents might get sick or unable to take care of themselves, but that is a part of life too. You need to accept it in order to move on. They can often be stubborn as well, and there’s also nothing you can do. Getting them to go to the gerontological center or senior home center isn’t easy and if they refuse it for a long time, you might have to accept that as well. It is hard on you, but this is their life, and it’s coming to its end. Try to understand how hard that can be and accept their wishes.
Among all of the things you are handling at the moment, your job, children and their lives, bills and mortgage- you may feel like your parents are a burden. Sometimes they are, and it is normal to feel that way. On the other hand, you are all they have and they rely and depend on you. You need to understand that they don’t like being old and helpless. Among other feelings, they feel ashamed and quilty. So make sure you ease this for them as much as you can. Understand their feelings and needs, don’t make it look like it’s too hard for you to take care of them.
Growing old makes you feel alone and sad. Being there for the old people is the important part of their well being. And not just in a physical, helping-out way but also being there to listen and talk to them. Old people like to tell the stories (sometimes those are the same stories again and again) and they like to have someone who will listen. This means more to them than you would think. Other than them just wanting to chat, you can also learn a lot of things from these stories. They might be old and out of the track, but they are more experienced and wise and, as much as these stories don’t seem so informative now, someday you might remember them and actually use the advice.
Asking for help
Life can get hard enough on your own. If your parents are sick and you are not being able to take care of them without that influencing your life heavily, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Some parents have a hard time accepting it, but sometimes this is the best for them. There are so many good and quality options nowadays, and you can find seniors care home which is just perfect for your parents. They will get professional medical help and attention here, and the company of their age.
Old people tend to reminiscence their past and feel guilty or remorse for some things. It may consider their life choices or even some raise methods they had as parents. Make sure you let them know that you don’t hold any grudges and, if there was anything to be forgiven, that it has been. They did their best and they also had to handle a bunch of things. However, if the issues are more serious, make sure to talk to them and let them know how you feel.
Being kind and showing compassion are the basic postulates of handling the old people. This refers to all of them and not just your parents. As much as it can get hard on you, it is harder for them. Show all of the patience you have, and they will thank you for it.article by Leila Dorari
How Well Do You Accept Feedback? constructive criticism michelle tillis lederman
I have always disliked the phrase ‘constructive criticism’. It never sat right with me. I always thought it just seemed like a way to make yourself feel better about picking on me or someone else.
I prefer to think about feedback as simply, information.
We don’t have to label it negative or positive – it’s just information that might help someone improve. It might increase someone’s awareness and help them to develop in their career. But whatever you call it, sometimes you’re going to hear things that you don’t want to hear and things that may be difficult to hear. Especially when you know those things are true.
A recent reader asked me, “How do you accept feedback gracefully?”
I love that phrase because that’s exactly what I want people to strive for. With more love of alliteration, I created: How to Score an ‘A’ at Receiving Feedback. Enjoy!
First and foremost, listen to what is said. It sounds simple, but it’s amazing how often that doesn’t happen. Really listen and take it in what they are saying to you.
Don’t be defensive! Sometimes this happens verbally – defending or explaining ourselves or speaking too quickly before we have really thought it over. Other times it happens in our body language, we cross our arms to protect from what we are about to hear. The result when we close our bodies is that we also close our minds. Open up.
Ask For More
Listening is great, but take it a step further. Probe deeper into what is said and seek to understand. Ask for specifics to make sure you’re clear on an example so you can recall it in your mind.
After you are sure you understand the situations, confirm by summarizing them. It’s a good step to ensure your clarity.
This one might stop you in your tracks. I can just see you thinking, “But what if I don’t actually agree?” …You don’t have to agree with everything that is said. Try to find and agree with something specific so that the two of you are on common ground, and you can have a graceful reaction in the moment.
There’s one side of this that we never think about. If you’ve ever been on the other end of this type of interaction, then you know that it’s not always easy to share this kind of thing. It may be difficult to hear, but it takes courage and candor for them to bring it up in the first place. Try to remember and appreciate that.
Ask and Invite
Don’t keep the appreciation inside – voice it! Take initiative to ensure them that their feedback was appreciated and invite them to continue providing it in the future. When you have somebody who is willing to tell you valuable information, don’t let it be one and done. Leverage that source!
Then finally, USE the feedback they give you. Even better, circle back with the person who provided the feedback and let them know what you did with it, so that they feel like their feedback was valuable.
Next time you receive feedback from someone, try to keep these steps in mind. If you can get even half of them down, you will increase your ability to not just hear the feedback gracefully, but to also put it into action.learn more about michelle tillis lederman
Protecting Yourself From Energy Vampiresarticle by Ashton Saldana
As I was coming into this new way of existing, it was extremely important that I protect myself and, to the best of my ability, filter the energy coming into my life. I had figured out how to generally live each day with a positive mindset, yet, as an empath, it was virtually impossible to go unaffected by the words & vibes of others. It was quite frustrating to feel like all of my progress was easily tampered with because I was absorbing the emotions and energy of other people that had yet to seek clarity in their lives. I acknowledged the “energy vampires” in my world and decided I had to set boundaries. We have certain friends or family members that literally suck the life out of us, but I noticed it wasn’t one specific characteristic that would kill my buzz – these energy vampires come in all shapes and sizes. For example, we all have that narcissistic friend or the coworker with the poor-me mentality, but here are some other qualities a person may exhibit that is inadvertently is depleting you.
Often referred to as negative Nancy’s, these individuals have tunnel vision when it comes to bad things happening. No matter what, they will focus on what is wrong in a situation instead of having a grateful mindset.
Then you have the egomaniac that dominates every conversation. It starts and ends with them. Basically, you feel like a sounding board instead of a participant in a two-way conversation. It’s downright exhausting.
The “judger” is sure to drop you down to earth when you share your exciting ideas or positive outlook on something! In order for them to feel valued they devalue you. It’s important to remember that the things they put other people down for are typically the areas where most of their insecurities lie; deflection at its finest.
The drama-starter– they live off of spectacles and circulating rumors. I’ve definitely indulged in my inner gossip girl, but it is so much more peaceful not getting involved and minding my own damn business.
The victim– they speak as if they are the only ones to encounter misfortunes and are constantly in a rut. In some bizarre way, they feed off of the pity, and it’s a never-ending cycle with these people.
I don’t want to feel overwhelmed, drained, or like a need a cocktail after talking to someone. We all experience lows, but when the above behaviors start to be the norm, it’s time for you to limit your interactions and start building a resistance towards their antics. Once I was able to identify the sources, my interactions with these people slightly changed and I immediately felt the benefits. Remember, you have a choice. If you decide to continue to engage in the vortex of negativity, then you can only blame yourself. If you respectfully decline to be a part of their day to day blunders, then you are taking a step in the right direction to protecting your quality of life. I’ve done a lot of work on myself to seek solace for my soul, so I don’t take jeopardizing that lightly. It’s unfortunate when we see the people we care so deeply about being lost in the abyss of negativity but remember you only have the power to control yourself and your involvement.
Alas, sometimes we need to distance ourselves from the people we care most about, but at the end of the day, your sole purpose is making sure you are living the life you intended, with gratitude, happiness, & love, and dissolving the relationships that make you feel empty, tired, and defeated.
Since I can only control to a certain extent how much I avoid certain individuals on a regular basis, I turned to Reiki healing. My intentions with Reiki were to clear out any blocks I had and to develop an invisible shield to negative energy. After my 60-minute session, I felt like I had just received a life-changing transformation. In the most simplistic terms, it’s like a massage for your energy. I felt a wide range of relief, from the soreness in my shoulders to an overall sense of inner peace. Some things that were weighing on me emotionally instantly were gone when my session concluded. I went with an open mind, and this Japanese healing technique definitely had a positive impact on my overall well being.
Love After Painarticle by Ashton Saldana
Whether breaking up from a short-lived romance or going through a divorce, it hurts. Things ultimately don’t work out how we planned and now we are left to recreate our story. We endure an unforgettable pain with a spectrum of emotions varying from sadness to anger. As you know, the healing process takes time, but you will rise up at some point and become a better, stronger
individual having gone through that experience.
After working through never feeling like you can love or trust again, your days are brighter and the debilitating pain starts to diminish. Even though we seem to have made much progress, an invisible barrier was built during that heartbreak and will be the demise of your next relationship if you let it. Its hard to not be hesitant or use past experiences to block you from future successes.
Most of the time, people enter a new relationship with the past still hindering them and the cycle repeats itself. However, if you ever want to truly love and be loved, you must not hold the past against your future partner. We experience these losses as learning opportunities to create something better. If you want to start attracting true love, you must work through the following steps:
- Fully Respect & Love Yourself. Self-love is imperative and if you happen to be struggling in this area, you need to focus on yourself before getting involved with anyone else. Your strengths and your flaws all add up to the exceptional individual that makes you, YOU! Someone who emits positivity and a captivating energy is an individual who has figured out in order to spread love, you must honor, treasure, and love yourself.
- Start Setting Healthy Boundaries. You know what you value in a relationship and what you will and will not allow. If monogamy is a deal breaker, then why entertain people who don’t intend on settling down? Make sure you are giving your time, energy, and love to a deserving soul.
- Let go of Expectations of Others. You’ve heard it before, but “no one owes you anything”. It seems harsh, but once you let go of expecting certain outcomes or relying on others, you’ll start to see your relationships as an added value.
After adopting these 3 simple concepts, you’ll see the caliber of people you meet has changed, and you’ll be ready for that special person that makes loving someone feel effortless.article by Ashton Saldana
How To Get The Respect You Deservearticle by Michelle Tillis Lederman
This email from a reader really got me fired up:
“I have a work issue that I am hoping you can help with. My boss is extremely disrespectful towards me and speaks to me like I am an idiot. I would like some ideas on how to turn this around – I feel like I get attacked (verbally) at least several times a week.”
Not cool! These situations are complex, and while I don’t know her specific circumstances, I wanted to pass along some thoughts on communicating with a disrespectful boss in a way that is diplomatic, but firm.
First: They may not be aware of how you are interpreting their tone.
It is perfectly acceptable to let them know that the way they’re communicating with you makes you feel disrespected. When you approach them on this, use ‘I’ statements.
For example, “When you speak to me in that tone, I feel like you are being disrespectful — is that your intent?”
Using an ‘I’ statement keeps them off the defensive, and asking if that’s their intent will tell you whether or not they even realize they’re doing it. Watch their body language for a more complete answer beyond the words they say.
If they don’t realize they’re being disrespectful, it’s time for you to set boundaries. You can let them know that you understand that they’re under stress, but that doesn’t negate the requirement of speaking to others professionally and respectfully. If they continue to treat and speak to you in that manner, you will walk away until they can communicate in a more professional way.
You may want to document the occurrences and keep a record. Remember that there is always the option of going to your HR department; it doesn’t need to be an official complaint, but that way someone else is aware of what’s going on. Always give the person a chance to fix it first, but remember that you have resources you can draw upon if you need them.
Following these suggestions can help you remember that you are able to set healthy workplace boundaries for yourself, and will allow you to have those difficult conversations with grace and poise.article by Michelle Tillis Lederman